Monday, November 8, 2010

Major Changes and Updates

So, as you know we met our surrogate and matched relatively quickly and with no (major) problems.. Things have been kind of bumpy due to her not having insurance and us trying to find an affordable plan to cover her. In all fairness, all of the bumps are not her fault. Some were I hope just working out the kinks, while others are issues.. Anyway, the insurance is one of the biggest problems that we were not able to overcome. Also, our clinic that we had been in talks with and had our consult set with rather offhandedly informed us that we had not been told about an additional $10K fee just for using a surrogate (this is more than the actual IVF cost!) I was devastated. They apologized for not informing us sooner, but that doesn't help us, we still do not have an extra $10,000 sitting around! So, we decided to part ways with this clinic and we have since found a new clinic. Even with travel it is cheaper for us (travel is only an 8hr drive to GA).

OK, back to the surrogate.. The insurance hurdle has been a huge one. I have tried to find her a plan and THOUGHT I had one, until the health care reforms started taking effect. Now the plan I was looking into was not available when I was ready to purchase it! So our surrogate said what if she tried to get on with her work insurance, she said someone told her it wasn't as expensive as she thought. Turns out when she told me it was really expensive, she really meant when she looked online for individual policies it was expensive for her and her husband (not the same thing...) I told her to check into it and get back to me. Well long story short, she didn't for whatever reason. This is not something we could wait on as time is of the essence with these things and you have to be on top of it in order to move forward. So we have decided to part ways. I know all of that is a bummer, but in the midst of all of this something AMAZING happened..

My really dear friend who I donated my eggs to almost 7 yrs ago has been my rock in all of this and my sounding board. All of this time I believed she was gearing up for a sibling project. Turns out she was getting her self ready to offer to be our surrogate! When I told her what was going on and that we were going to have to get back into search mode she made the amazing offer to carry for us! This has been such a blessing in so many ways. The most important is that the trust is already there. I know she is going to do what she says she will and what is needed of her. She is experienced since she already has been down this road for her own journey. The best part is the clinic we chose is in her area so we don't even have to go back to the drawing board in that aspect. Things are just falling into place like this is what was supposed to happen all along.. I actually had a dream that this was what was going to happen and she had offered years ago, but I was not comfortable with moving forward down that road until their family was complete. Now it is and we are really doing this!

I am so overwhelmed, overjoyed and in awe of my friends amazing and generous spirit. She said she feels like this was how it was meant to be from when we first started this journey long ago and I feel the same way.. I am just so thankful that things are still going to move forward and that our dream still has a fighting chance! So now we have LOTS of work to do to get started!  A basic rundown of what needs to happen now:
  • Fill out the questionnaire for the lawyer so the contracts can be drafted and send him a check.
  • Phone consult with the clinic (and give them c/c payment)
  • Give clinic a HUGE check so we can get our rx's for testing
  • Have lots of blood and other things drawn, poked or prodded
  • Then start meds and get the ball rolling
So that's where we are right now. The contracts have to be finished in order to move to transfer so we are working on that part now. And I am still hocking my wares to help finance this whole baby party!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I started to feel really sad reading the first part of your post. But then things quickly lifted up -- talk about being MEANT TO BE!! Wow. This is awesome. You have such a wonderful friend and such an amazing journey ahead of you both. I am SOOO happy that things quickly fell back into place. This is great! God truly had a plan for you.
    So, did I understand this right--you donated your eggs to this friend in the past (7yrs ago), and now she is going to be your surrogate? Um....WOW! What a story you will have to tell your child/ren. You are truly blessed. I am so excited and thankful to be following your journey. And maybe, maybe! we can go through these surrogacy stages together. I had my match meeting yesterday and it went GREAT! Best wishes to you always, and have a wonderful week. :)


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