Friday, May 13, 2011

Touchy Post

Some of you are probably not going to like this post, so please don't read if you don't want to see my ugly side.. This is something I need to get off my chest though..

As you know I donated half my eggs for a shared cycle this last time.. Well right after the transfer my friend shut me out. No calls, didn't tell me how the procedure went, nothing.. She gave me some poor excuse that she didn't want to excite her uterus and that she was just keeping to herself and not talking to ANYONE.. OK, how the hell am I just "ANYONE?" To give you some back story, she had NO real knowledge of egg donation and really only basic IVF knowledge. We met by chance through a blog I was reading and she commented on it as well. A conversation struck up as a result and from that what I THOUGHT was a friendship. She wanted me to donate and I agreed, but her finances fell through and she just stopped talking to me after that.. A few months later she started talking to me a gain out of the blue and I mentioned it to her that she kinda just kicked me to the curb and that it was hurtful. She said she didn't mean it and that she was sorry, yada yada.. So we moved on from it.. Well all while the drama of getting cycle ready was going on, I was emailing the clinic on her behalf (6hr time difference) and forwarding messages from her as well as medical records and assisting her any way that I could since she was green to the process and this was going to be #4 for me under the "knife".. Anywho, this was NO EASY TASK.. Imagine trying to convince your child that there IS a Santa, after they catch you putting gifts under the tree.. Yeah, that's how hard it has been dragging her towards the finish line of this cycle.. Anywho back on the current days events: I texted her and let her know I was hurt by how she was treating me and that I felt she just used me (even though she covered majority of the IVF costs in exchange for the eggs, we have been talking on the phone or IM'ing or texting EVERYDAY for a year and we had built a friendship or at least I thought we had..) Well after my text still nothing, so I emailed her about 5 days later.. I got a very formal email back from her saying her other RE (she has a local one since she traveled for the cycle) put her on bedrest for the entire week (even though she was out and about right after transfers, sometimes facebook can really hurt your case, ya know?) and that she was instructed to not talk on the phone much or get on her computer and that she really was not ignoring me or using me. That was EIGHT DAYS AGO.. I emailed back to let's finish the last part of the cycle (there was a balance due she was responsible for) and then we could just go our separate ways since she was cutting me out. (I also can see plain as day she had been on facebook posting and folks mentioning it was nice to talk to her, so obviously she just didn't want to talk to me) This was a week before her beta.. Well she had it yesterday and she texted me at 330AM to tell me it was positive and that she didn't mean to shut me out. I am still angry and I have been crying all day.. I am sad she already has her bfp well over a month before I even go to transfer.. And I feel like a horrible person for it.. I have an awesome track record as an egg donor, (I am now 3/3) and don't get me wrong, I am GLAD she got pregnant, I am just upset by how this entire thing has played out.. The thing that bothers me is she never has apologized for treating me poorly.. Saying you didn't mean something is NOT an apology in my opinion.. Also I did make my feelings known 8 days ago and she ignored me until today... I texted her back and said congrats, but please just resolve the money issue so I can concentrate on my cycle now. She said it's 3AM here and it's late I am going back to bed.. OK, she had NO problem texting me at that awful hour and waking me up! I just feel terrible today.. Am I overreacting? I don't want to talk to her anymore because I don't want to be sucked in to her pregnancy and become invested then have her shut me out again and do this whenever it suits her.. Prior to the egg retrieval she couldn't call me, text me or email me enough, ya know? The day I came out of egg retrieval I noticed a change but I thought it was me being loopy from the anesthesia.. I guess I should have seen it coming, no? Am I wrong here?? Give me your honest opinions, I can take it

UPDATE: The money owed was in my mail today, so at least THAT part of it is finished.. I think my apology got lost in the mail, still haven't gotten on of those..


  1. Tonya, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this $h!t! It sounds to me like she is just in it for herself, unfortunately. I'd be pissed too! I wouldn't get any more invested in her situation because I feel it will end up hurting you more. :( And she BETTER pay what she owes or I'll come there and whoop somebody's ass!

  2. Oh boy. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with that crap right now...BUT I am very happy to hear that she paid her "dues", and you can now wipe your hands clean of her. As hurt as your are about this lost friendship, just let it go. You will be so happy that you did. Focus on YOU right now and focus on YOUR future. Forget the b!tch!! LOL!


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