Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Kindness of Others and Making Sacrifices (LONG POST)

iIt took me a while to figure out what I wanted to title this blog post.. Soo many things went through my head... I thought about "the kindness of strangers" but that didn't seem to fit and you will understand why in a bit (hang in there).. OK so as you all know we are saving towards our last IVF cycle (gosh, I still get sad writing that, because I really hope it's just our last fresh cycle and not THE END, if we weren't able to achieve a pregnancy with this fresh) and it's going to run around $14,000 (PLUS MEDS) to cover everything for us and our surrogate.. Well we pretty much save every extra penny we get to our IVF savings account and live like we have no money. It was hard at first, but now we are used to it and it's the norm. Yes we still have cable and internet, but the last time I got a new pair of sneakers was in 2003 and anything I am looking for for our house or yard stuff I always check resale, thrift and garage sales before getting it new (something I haven't done in years) and I never met a coupon I didn't like, people are always commenting on how organized my coupons are when I am at the store.. I'm talking a BINDER here people, not you're Grandma's little coupon keeper, but I digress  because I'm getting sidetracked.. Anywho...


I do all this so we take advantage of every free dime we can, so it can be rerouted to "baby dream fund".. Even with doing that, it is still going to take our property tax refund and EVERYTHING we have in savings, plus a small loan (for a month or two until our income tax return gets processed) to reach our $14,000 goal. Knowing this I asked some girls that I have been on IF forums with that were currently cycling or just finished cycling or about to cycle about their leftover meds so I didn't have to pay full price at the pharmacy. Most times when you cycle, your Dr will prescribe much more than is needed because they have to make sure you are not going to run short. The response I received was overwhelming... I was able to get 2 important meds from one girl and including shipping, it didn't cost me as much as a nice dinner out would have, in fact it cost me less than me taking the family to McDonald's would and that was after I said it was the least I could do! She has walked this IF path and while her story may be finished, she was willing to help me continue mine and all she really wants is pictures of my baby if we have success (I know, the KINDNESS RIGHT!?!) Another girl Chelsea offered me her leftovers as a donation. I burst in to tears reading her message to me. You see, she has been there through my ups and downs and me through hers (Right now she is in her 2ww after having probably the BEST cycle on record anywhere! Read her story when you get a chance, it's pretty awesome.) and she knows just much this costs and what is at stake for me and I was so overwhelmed at her generosity that I wanted to share all the good news with my followers.. The magnitude of these girls gift to me is immeasurable. This is essentially saving us from having to spend an addition 4-5 THOUSAND DOLLARS on the stimulation medication for me, which is the most expensive part medication-wise. I am feeling so HOPEFUL and BLESSED right now.. I feel like God is telling me to hang in there and that I am not "down for the count" just yet, so I have to keep fighting. So this was a huge part of the amazing stuff I was talking about that had been happening in my life.. 

The other parts you ask? Well, we sold our main car. Both of our cars actually.. Hubby's car was a recent cheap purchase that he thought he could fix, but he ran out of ideas on what was going on with it and we were able to sell it to someone who was confident he could fix it, so we broke even. This left us down to one vehicle. Not too big of a deal since I am home, but in the event of an emergency I would be no help to anyone stranded.. So we got to talking and decided to sell our main vehicle and DOWNGRADE so we could keep the leftover equity in our 2006. Now, you may not think that is a big deal but if you don't ever go anywhere in your car, it tends to have low miles on it and if you have never wrecked it or let anyone dirty the interior, it's kind of a big deal when you go to resell. So with what we had started saving in our baby dream account we took that and the money from hubby's car and bought him a 2001 5-speed vehicle. So far so good. We emptied the fund BUT knew that if we could find me something decent for no more than $2K we would still be ahead. So we hit craigs.list and searched for me the perfect vehicle. After much calling and looking Friday we drove 1.5hrs to look at a van we decided would suit our needs. For one, it seats seven and we are already at 4 (even though the teens have one foot out the door) but also when I have to do these trips out of town for my IVF cycles, it sure is nicer to be able to stretch out and have room for all the bags too. And you know what else? It's a Honda and they hold their value pretty well. Now I know some of you are thinking "dude a van gets terrible gas mileage!" NOOOPE. Not a 1996 or 1997 Honda Odyssey. They are the only ones that were made with a 4 CYLINDER engine, which means the same gas mileage as a small car, but with more seating room.. (YAY ME!) So after a few test drives and some skilled negotiation we were able to talk the guy down to $2K for the van (SCORE!) and aside from some fading paint on the hood and roof (an easy fix) there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! So we are $3,000 ahead in our savings goal and getting closer to the savings finish line each week. I am already loving my van and what it represents.. Hope of one day having a carseat (or two) behind me and the determination to do what needs to be done to make our dreams a reality. So that's all for now, til next time!

15 comments:

  1. I am so honored to help out in any small way! You are an amazing person and deserve for your dream to come true...I can't wait to see it happen!!

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  2. Score on the van!!

    Man, I wish I had extra meds to ship your way :(

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  3. It's amazing how much kindness and generousity shines through in this community, isn't it? :)

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  4. Yay for the van!!
    Hey, I have LOTS of leftovers! Email me if u or ur surro need anything, I'll let u know what I have.

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  5. Chelsea- You are such a ROCK STAR! Your help is definitely not small, thank you for your compliments and all of your support!

    Jesse- I love my van! She's so purdy! :)

    Sarah- Oh it is..Very amazing.. These girls show me all the time that people are genuine and kind. I have such wonderful relationships with my "online girls" I am so blessed!

    Krystal- I definitely will email you, I still need stuff, THANK YOU, my darling love! xoxo!

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  6. I love this story!!! Do you need any PIO or a little Lupron? I have some extra from Feb that my IPs said I could give away! :)

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  7. Wow. Very touching how motivated you are... you guys really deserve this and I hope all the hard work and dedication pays off very soon.

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  8. TXSurromom- THANK YOU!! Yep, we will need PIO, I will email you.. You girls are gonna have me investing in kleenex, the support and generosity is so overwhelming!

    Ashley- Thank you so much! We are hopeful that we will have our dream realized, we are stepping out on faith! :)

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  9. Oh wow Tonya...that's awesome that people have been so sweet! and God is so amazing that he brings people around that are just willing to help! i am glad you are ahead of your savings goal!

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  10. Mrs. Pancakes- I know right!?! These girls amaze me everyday.. There is NO WAY I could have gotten through all of the trials and tribulations of this IVF roller coaster without them!

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  11. Hi Tonya, I'm your newest follower here (Mrs. Pancakes told me to check you out). I am sending lots of hugs and support your way. Also you may want to check out my blog. My journey doesn't start till december but today's post is about deducting IVF on your taxes (hey ever penny saved counts). Hopefully you can follow along with my journey as well and give me your input as I go through experiences.

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  12. Hi Toya, just started following you today and im loving your blog. My husband and I have just started IVF/Surrogacy last month. You and your hubby are in my prayers:)

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  13. Absolutely amazing Tonya - you have the HUGEST heart and I am so glad others are opening theirs to you too and sharing and helping you move closer to your dreams!! <3

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  14. Destiny- Hi and welcome to the crazy roller coaster ride! I am heading to check your blog out in a bit. I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers too!

    Rebekah- Hey there!! Don't make me cry! The support we have been receiving has been amazing.. The wait is SO HARD, but it helps so much to have so many people in our corner! <3 right back at you!

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