tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post5195671437416963386..comments2023-11-20T18:58:09.506-05:00Comments on Our Journey To Build Our Family Through IVF and Surrogacy: I'm still aroundBabydreams2011http://www.blogger.com/profile/05773401619234656260noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-36988253869461968342011-11-14T17:15:07.044-05:002011-11-14T17:15:07.044-05:00THANK YOU to all of you for your sweet messages an...THANK YOU to all of you for your sweet messages and support! They mean the world to me!Babydreams2011https://www.blogger.com/profile/05773401619234656260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-53983916336706593202011-11-11T15:16:48.541-05:002011-11-11T15:16:48.541-05:00I am so sorry your going through this. Email me I ...I am so sorry your going through this. Email me I could use an IM to talk to.<br />pebblesnj29@yahoo.combelievehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14950782855715856263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-4703993772165549492011-11-11T14:34:01.873-05:002011-11-11T14:34:01.873-05:00Oh wow, how incredibly awful!!! I am SOOO, SOOO s...Oh wow, how incredibly awful!!! I am SOOO, SOOO sorry!!! Am I understanding it right that she didn't accidentally get pregnant...she used IVF with your donor eggs and did a transfer herself instead of carrying for you??? Yes, please find another surro...that's unthinkable, Tonya!! I cannot imagine what she was thinking!! :(TXSurromomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15188704061456448956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-87949957407511081132011-11-11T10:01:12.186-05:002011-11-11T10:01:12.186-05:00I am soooooooo sorry to hear all of this happened ...I am soooooooo sorry to hear all of this happened to you. It does hurt on so many different levels. I wish I had some magical words to make it all work out. :-( I don't know the answer to fresh vs. frozen. My doctor said that FET has a slightly lower rate of success but it wasn't ridiculously lower. I wonder if there's any way to compare women at 38.1 and 39.5 and see if the drop off in success rates is big or not. If it is a big drop maybe do FET and grab your eggs now. If the success rate is similar then maybe wait and try for fresh. Medicine is, unfortunately, an art, not a science. And there's a lot of luck involved. Follow your gut, too. Your gut is often right. I went against science but followed my gut and had success.Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-13340714937117586172011-11-10T17:52:41.696-05:002011-11-10T17:52:41.696-05:00This is just a nightmare!! I am soooo sorry... I ...This is just a nightmare!! I am soooo sorry... I just wish something would start to go right for you! I can't believe that about your surrogate and I just hope it all works out somehow. Hmmmm, I know finding a new surrogate will cost more money, but so will repeating frozen cycles over and over. Fresh is the best and it can make a HUGE difference. I know you have a big decision to make, so take your time (I know, time isn't on your side) and do what you think is best. Hopefully in the end, this will all pay off.Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-40019711188332211182011-11-10T17:03:03.199-05:002011-11-10T17:03:03.199-05:00I am so sorry to hear that you are going through t...I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. If dealing with infertility isn't hard enough. Did you contract say anything about her not cycling or having intercourse with DH will under contract. She may have to pay you for all the medical testing and things that you did, if so. I would definitely cycle again now and freeze. There is a lady on smo that just got pregnant with 10+ y/o frozen eggs. Don't give up on yours or DH's dreams of a family. Your time is coming.Ashley & Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09894279183167736958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-32608549708348342232011-11-10T14:48:17.024-05:002011-11-10T14:48:17.024-05:00I am so sorry you are going through this, it is no...I am so sorry you are going through this, it is not fair and it flat out stinks.<br /><br />Yes- you continue on with the egg retrieval and freeze those embies. NO! you do not wait on your "friend" there are too many what ifs down the road. Safe every penny and find a surrogate who is dependable and trust worthy.<br /><br />Also, this girl needs to pay you back. She broke the contract, even if she does not have the money to pay you back she should be paying you in monthly payments. She is now having a baby on your dime and that is wrong and she needs to be held responsible for it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-13975885522082036332011-11-10T09:59:21.412-05:002011-11-10T09:59:21.412-05:00I can't imagine what you are going through. I ...I can't imagine what you are going through. I am very sorry that you are going through this......<br />It is my prayer that your blessing will come very soon. xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-40816527459133526842011-11-10T09:15:45.223-05:002011-11-10T09:15:45.223-05:00Oh honey my heart just sank for you when I read th...Oh honey my heart just sank for you when I read this. You have every right to feel the emotions you do, you built your hopes up all this time and then had the carpet/rug swept right out from under you. I hope that a new door opens. Will you be waiting and going with her? I think you should think about that one. <br />I have to agree with the poster at the top, I would think freezing sooner rather than later would be better.....but what do I know my knowledge is based on reading blogs, this little chicken has again pushed back my own IVF start date...I know I know denial but a girl can wish that things will magically start working. <br />I am truly sorry you're going through this cause like you said its a double loss cause you were both so close. I'm gonna keeping praying in all this that he opens a window.Mrs. Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02764630042494209537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-3684538583196684152011-11-09T20:46:56.231-05:002011-11-09T20:46:56.231-05:00Marissa- Thanks for that. I would tend to agree wi...Marissa- Thanks for that. I would tend to agree with you on the FET stats if I hadn't just done exactly that. I froze all for both of my cycles (well all that they could rescue after botching my retrieval and all I got from my shared cycle so half) and while I had great thaws (everything always survived) both ended badly as you know from my blog. Could be the freezing/thawing according to my previous RE and it could be that I'm an old ass, who knows.. I can't really afford to change surros this late in the game but I probably can't afford NOT to as well.. FMLBabydreams2011https://www.blogger.com/profile/05773401619234656260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-20317498669107818552011-11-09T19:58:33.152-05:002011-11-09T19:58:33.152-05:00Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say....Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say. I agree that every woman should be able to persue pregnancy...but if she wasn't done building her family, she should have TOLD you that, straight-up. And especailly hurtful to use your meds, your money for testing...and your eggs as the final kick (though I realize there's a reason she used donor eggs, but still...).<br /><br />My heart is just breaking for you. :(<br /><br />I do think you should take advantage of youth and do a freeze-all. If you're with a good lab, they have nearly 100% thaw success. I think looking at frozen stats vs. fresh stats might be misleading, as many people transfer their seemingly best embryos fresh and freeze the "leftovers". You'd be freezing your best, so it wouldn't be quite the same picture.<br /><br />I also do think looking for another surrogate might be a good option. You need to think realisticly--do you want your friend gestating your baby after this? That's something only you can decide.Marissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12335092755332310967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-46419592492175536902011-11-09T17:19:09.285-05:002011-11-09T17:19:09.285-05:00Sarah- Yes not great news indeed... We are probabl...Sarah- Yes not great news indeed... We are probably going to do the freeze all, but I haven't ruled out finding a new surrogate if we can afford the person.<br /><br />Destiny- I really don't know what is going to become of our friendship. It was born out of something beautiful (my egg donation to her) but now each picture of her new baby or any mention of her pregnancy infuriates me right now so I don't know.. I think time is needed for healing at least I hope so, she was more like a sister to me over these 9 yrs than a friend.<br /><br />Mrs. Pancakes- Definitely have to have a contract even if a friend or family, supposedly to protect everyone, but it's hard to want to enforce it on someone you love, especially under these circumstances, so a contract is not doing me any good, ya know? <br /><br />I just feel like I lost more than a chance at a baby, I lost a friend/sister too..Babydreams2011https://www.blogger.com/profile/05773401619234656260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-31816385044505768332011-11-09T15:14:11.997-05:002011-11-09T15:14:11.997-05:00Oh wow... Sorry to hear this...I dont know much ab...Oh wow... Sorry to hear this...I dont know much about surrogacy but I think I would be hurt especially if you and your friend had a contract! I hope that you work things out and I hope she delivers vaginally too! I would be all those different emotions too and I'm sure hubby understands more than anything!Mrs. Pancakeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03441934318368344653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-37943213492581438512011-11-09T14:51:00.340-05:002011-11-09T14:51:00.340-05:00You have every right to feel jealous, upset, angry...You have every right to feel jealous, upset, angry, and frustrated. I say that because many many years ago, my mom and dad decided after they had me and my brother they wanted another child. Well the issue that came up was my mom was not producing any eggs. So she asked her sister to donate eggs and they discussed it and her sister agreed. Well the time came, and her sister was pregnant. Its a slap in the face when you trust someone so close and the outcome is like that. Im hoping that in time you two can mend the friendship. But know that you deserve to be upset with all you have been through.Destinyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09950810605688911935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7753294373383285609.post-38325297293472558152011-11-09T14:37:04.740-05:002011-11-09T14:37:04.740-05:00Oh geez :( Not great news! :( But I wish you the b...Oh geez :( Not great news! :( But I wish you the best with whatever you choose. I guess my advice would be to keep trying...go ahead with IVF...my thoughts (with myself) is that it always seemed harder doing nothing and waiting than it was going through the treatments and risks. Thinking of you xoSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10364801556842061320noreply@blogger.com