Where I've been...

I found my old blog today and it was interesting reading it. Since I am being completely honest here, I wanted everyone to know where I came from. http://babiee4us.easyjournal.com/ this pretty much details everything that happened when we first started out and then brings you back here to my current journey. Enjoy your weekend!

EDITED: Easyjournal is DOWN constantly. Thankfully I copied all my posts from my previous blog and added them to the beginning of this one so now they are all in one place.

Antral Follicle Count & FSH testing aka Day 3 Labs

So Monday is the big day.. I go in for my Antral Follicle count ultrasound (herein known as u/s since I'm lazy folks, work with me here) and my day 3 labs (basically my follicle stimulating hormone level) or FSH. This testing is extremely important and is consuming my world right now. Firstly, the pass/fail of these tests determine several factors in my journey.  IF these numbers and u/s do not say what the Dr. thinks they should, I will not be qualified as a donor. This will be a devastating blow to us financially AND emotionally as I am already extremely invested in my recipient. I love her dearly and cannot even fathom the thought of not being able to help her. I love that we are helping each other! BUT first, I have to pass these tests and anyone who knows me knows I HATE TO FAIL... So for all the praying folks out there, say a little one for me that Monday reveals nothing but passing grades, (THANKS). I will update Monday with any new info I have on the testing.

Back in the saddle

This blog is to document our journey through IVF (invitro fertilization) to build our family.  J (the husband) and I had a long talk a few years back, discussing whether or not we would try IVF again in order to have a child together. We suffered an incredible financial and emotional blow when our then surrogate scammed us and caused us to lose all the frozen embryos we had from our first IVF cycle. After this devastating blow, J didn't want to try again, and I understood. I wasn't dying to try again either.... At least that's what I thought. Turns out I WAS DYING TO TRY AGAIN! I just didn't know it at the time.. As the days, weeks and years went on, I felt empty and sad, but lived my life. 

I had no idea that secretly the desire was also creeping back into J's mind... A few months ago, we were lounging and enjoying each others company when he said "I think we should try again".. I was floored. I immediately said "OK!" We both paused and looked at each other, then said "wait.. are we really doing this?" We then came back to reality and realized YES WE ARE.. We have gone over our finances and set aside what we could, but that is a drop in the bucket compared to what we actually need... So I am doing an egg donation to help a wonderful couple achieve their dream, as well as to help fund our own dream... 

This blog is going to be my therapy. I want to document what I am going through and hope that I can inspire someone else to make their dream happen, no matter what. I can tell you this story won't always be pretty, but it will always be honest. So settle in folks, cause with IVF, you're ALWAYS in for a long ride!

Happy Halloween, oh wait, we haven't had one of those in YEARS

So again, a lag in the posting, I gotta work on this here gig a little better ya think?? Yeah I know I do... Well, I decided not to donate for various reasons. I need to decide what we are going to do for us, before I commit to a donation for someone else. I am still doing my thing on ebay and it's going well. I am lucky that between this and my husband's job I am able to stay at home. I still haven't made a decision as to what I really want to do. I didn't realize I was this much of a procrastinator. I guess I really am not, there are just SO MANY things that I want to do. I don't want to start something and then decide its not for me. With this opportunity that I have, I should seize it and do something I love. My husband suggested Nursing since I love to help people, and I am pretty smart (if I do say so myself, and I do dammit!!) So I will investigate that and see where it takes me. I still haven't discarded the Real Estate Agent idea as hey, that does sound pretty exciting.

No news on baby2008 yet, still talking and seeing what our options are. We have a surrogate so that part is set (thank God for my former recipient, she is THE BEST!) So now we have to decide how to bring it all together. My choice would be doing a freeze all cycle and then doing an FET when the time arose, but guess what? Many clinics DO NOT support this!?!?! they want us to do a fresh cycle as this is what is optimal for success (read optimal for their success rates, BASTARDS!) So they aren't too keen on me coming in there with my high-falootin ideas and messing that up. There are a few decent clinics in our area, but I am not opposed to traveling to where my GS would live so I do have options. I have already started the baby2008 fund and am stashing accordingly so all systems are go for this as well.

The kids are being pre-teen and teenager on the school/behavior front. What happened to my well behaved sons?? They have left the building and in their place left behind some invasion of the body snatchers version of my kids. We usually let them "trick or treat" if they are doing well in school, but I cant tell you the last time I bought a costume for these kids, they have been the designated hander-outers to their friends. The oldest one "Ster" as he likes to be called now, has decided to just show up for school, and by show up I mean not do a damn thing! His co-henchman "Los" as we like to call him, is the long lost son of the absent minded professor. This kids will do his work but FORGET TO TURN IT IN!?! What the hell!?!?! OK so why do it son, if you aren't going to turn it in? His reply "I was going to but I couldn't find it, then when I did I was in another class, and it was too late" OK, can we say ORGANIZATION SKILLS???? This kid has none, and I have not found a way to give him any. Folders?-Check, Notebooks?-Check, Planner for assignments?-CHECK, screaming "TURN IN YOUR WORK" as he is on his way out the door to school?-CHECK. Does he turn it in once there- HELL TO THE NAW!!! So what is a girl to do?? Suffice it to say that last week was not a good week, but I can only hope that with each new week, there is a chance for change, so for now I will take that, and hope that we get thru 6th & 7th grade...

Another Donation

So, I have been talking to this couple who is in need of an egg donor. I may donate for them, at this point I am not sure, we are still talking, but hey that's news isn't it? I have sent them my info and they will let me know something soon I am sure. Nothing much new going on besides that. We weathered Tropical DEPRESSION Ernesto without any problems. It wasn't much of anything by the time it got here. I am still ebaying and doing pretty good at it as of late. I have even started selling things for other people since I am sitting here doing it anyway, so why not? I am also thinking of going to school to get my real estate license. I talked to a real estate company, and they said I have a job there if I want it, so that's cool, AND they will reimburse me the fees for the class, how cool is that! I am really thinking about it, and who knows maybe this will be my new career, it all sounded very exciting when I talked with the gentleman. So a few things in the works for me, who knows how they will turn out, so stay tuned!