Setting the goal and reaching it

So we are on our way with saving for this journey. I still can’t believe we are trying to pull this off by Spring 2011 (I always was an overachiever) I am praying this time I didn’t set myself up for failure. I mean look at the numbers folks, they ain’t pretty. We need approximately $30,000 to make this happen and that’s the LOW ball estimate. That’s the KIA version i.e.; no complications, no bumps in the road and success right out the gate. The Mercedes version runs about $45,000-$65,000 (and I will crawl into a hole and die because this version is NOT in my realm of possibility).

We will have a leg up in the next few months from some good decisions we made earlier (My egg donation, property tax refund, income tax refund) like paying our car off early and saving that money instead for the Babydream Fund, but is it enough? I mean, we already have our budget stretched threadbare and “J” is working on average 20 hrs of OT every 2 weeks. Now to do my part, I am kicking up my ebay sales and stashing every dime I make into our high interest savings acct (that gives us the ultra high 1.4% interest rate) but still is it enough? This is where we are and waaaaaaaay down at the end is where we need to be…

With that said tell someone about my stuff y'all every bit helps

Can I really pull this off?

I know you hear of people selling things online, having garage sales or fundraisers to help with the costs of adoption, some medical crisis and yes, even IVF, but can it REALLY happen? As soon as we decided to give this one last shot, I kicked it into full gear with selling anything I could get my hands on to help finance this massive undertaking. I mean let's face it, $30K is what some people make in a year and we need that by February if we want to start this journey by then. I say February because I REEEALLY don't want to proceed without have all if not most of the funds to do this upfront. This will alleviate alot of stress on our part and I am sure it will give Casey a sense of security knowing we do not have to scramble to get money for any procedure or testing she may need or just anything pertaining to this. So this leaves us with rearranging our budget to the tightest of tight setting (I mean Ramen noodle tight y'all!) not to mention "J" working on average 100 hrs every pay period (yes I am thankful he has the option to do this).


BUT.. Yes there is always a but no matter how much budgeting we do, we still have our normal bills which are not pennies by any means. Mortgage, Car payment, utilities, hell these eat up a nice chunk of cash each month. Luckily our house payment is going DOWN, since we homesteaded when we purchased and that should kick in right about now since 2010 property taxes are just about due. We stand to save over $100 a month on this, plus the refund of the overpayment of taxes during the year. This will help but in the grand scheme of things, it will be LESS than $1500 dollars and it doesn't even cover the meds for a cycle (how's that for jaw dropping!)...


So where does that leave us you ask? Well, I will tell you.. It leaves me hawking my wares everywhere I can, that's where! Any free website that allows me to list, I have stuff there.. While I detest the amount of money I have to pay EBAY for selling items, they are still by far the best way to reach alot of people quickly. And also... While reading blogs of others who are in the same or similiar boat as we are, I too decided to build us a fundraising page. It will bring readers to my story (I hope) so someone else suffering through this may find some support and it gets more eyes on my fundraising attempts. I am sure some naysayer will pipe in and say "that's kinda like begging".. Well when your dream feels so far away that you sometimes in a tiny corner of your heart feel like it maaay not come to pass, you will beg, borrow and steal to make it happen, that's my reply to that in advance.. With that said check out my stuff y'all K, thanks! =)

A Lovely Day

So we met with "C" today! I will now use her name, with permission. Casey is an AMAZING young lady. We hit it off right away! Her DH (darling husband) is super sweet and very quiet, with just enough humor thrown in. They are such a cute couple and you can see how much they love each other. It was really nice having lunch with them and then just sitting and talking for a few hours. Before we knew it, it was getting late and a storm was rolling in so we all hauled it back to our cars!


We talked about everything we could think of regarding the contracts, insurance and anything in between that we felt would or could possibly come up. That way we were all on the same page and there won't be any surprises once the lawyers get involved. We have decided to get the policy I found Casey looked it over and we went over the pros and cons of the policy vs. a maternity indemnity plan card (kinda like AFLAC) or just paying private pay at a birthing center, and while all would be fine to go with the birthing center private pay, in the event of twins, the birthing center is no longer an option for delivery and that would leave us uninsured for a hospital delivery.



I am sure it will probably work out with a normal singleton delivery and we end up going to the birthing center, but that LEEETLE chance of twins or any complication is outweighing everything else and we keep saying we want to do this right so that means making sure Casey's coverage is great! So, we are planning to have Casey, her DH and their little one over one weekend soon to grill and just hang out, we are really excited and can't wait to see them again! Man, February can't get here fast enough!



In the meantime, we are just saving every penny we can get our hands on and stashing it for this expensive, exciting journey. With that said, back to my Babydreams Fundraising Listings or for all my ebay listings go here: Baby Fund Ebay Listings

Surprised Myself

Well today I actually got more accomplished than I thought! I researched all day trying to find an affordable health plan option for "C". We still both are in agreement on the birthing center, BUT with IVF there is ALWAYS the chance of multiples and if that is the case then, the birthing center option is out. I have talked with 3 different facilities who all told me the same thing. "Unfortunately, this would move the pregnancy into the high risk category and while we could provide prenatal care, we absolutely would not be able to assist in the delivery" OOOOOOOk... So, I FOUND a great insurance policy!! The only scary thing is the plan *may* change before it goes in force. Due to the changes in healthcare reform, somethings that are available won't be and some that aren't will be, yada yada... I don't want to get the policy too far in advance BUT I do need it, so that there is the current dilemna folks..




Oh and also too (thanks Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, I love saying that now) I totally found a few lawyers who are well versed in surrogacy law and have a few estimates on contracts and affirmation of birth (our names going on BC directly) I have a meeting with another to see what their fees are (not sure why they couldnt tell me over the phone but whatevs) So Insurance issue solved?= CHECK! Contract lawyer found?= CHECK!






The only catch in my day is a girl that uses the clinic we are looking to work with stated they don't have the best "one on one" care with the patients.. She is using them for a different issue than I would be but now I am on the fence.. I mean, I am a big girl and all and I dealt with that PLEN-TEEE with my last clinic but is that as important as their take home baby stats? (For all who don't know each clinic has to publish their success/failure rates to the Society for Reproductive Technology ) so having amazing stats is a big bonus, 'cuz let's face it no one wants to work with the kid that failed science class on their science project, ya know? Yeah, so The clinics with THE BEST stats are out of my league, but I CAN go to a clinic with some pretty damn good stats and this clinic is one of them... There are a few others in the running but this one is within a few hrs of my house vs. a plane ride or SEVERAL HRS in the car.. So what's a girl tah do?? I guess I will keep researching until it is closer to my estimated start date (After the holidays and this egg donation I am in the process of doing) and see how I feel and whichever place seems like it is going to give us the BEST chance of taking home a baby (or TWO) then we are going with them (as long as they fit nicely into my cute black budget clutch)... Ok quit reading this and go to bed!

Making progress on this journey

We have been actively working on the surrogacy portion of our journey and I can now tell you that we have OFFICIALLY chosen our surrogate! Well, we chose each other really... It feels SO amazing knowing that we have that part of the journey behind us. If you have read any of our story, you know this part is the scariest, because you have to trust for all intents and purposes a STRANGER to carry your baby. As an intended parent, you hope that as your first act, you chose someone who will treat this pregnancy as you, yourself would. For us we have found that in let's call her "C" for now.. She is amazing. While she is young at 21, she is very mature and well spoken. She has a supportive husband who is more reserved and laid back, a nice fit. They have a beautiful little girl and she had no complications during her own pregnancy. Her extended family is also very supportive and that is a HUGE part of this process as a surrogate, if your family doesn't support you, the chances of you actually ever being in a surrogacy arrangement are slim. But we have none of that to worry about luckily. We have been in talks with "C" for a while now through email and then we moved on to phone calls. Our official meeting is this SUNDAY! We are meeting for a nice lunch just the four of us. We have already agreed on all the major parts of the contract so that's just a formality getting it written up and having all parties sign it.




The next item on my agenda is interviewing birthing centers. This is something "C" and I both felt strongly about. We want to experience the birth as calmly and relaxing as possible. And in the interest of honesty, this option is MUCH more affordable than a hospital birth. Most people would be surprised to know that lot's if not majority of insurance companies have a surrogacy exclusion written in them (I know our policy does) meaning any pregnancy acheived FOR surrogacy is not covered. That means we would have to pay out of pocket for the Dr. visits, delivery and any other things needed (the average is $15-$20K) and that could easily spiral out of control. So, I rambled all of that to say, we have decided to go with a more affordable AND natural route, i.e, the birthing center and midwives.. I am so excited with all of these things we have going on, it's so much but it's wonderful at the same time.






In the mean time, today I received the official APPROVAL from "D's" clinic! So we are definitely a go! Now they will schedule my consult and I assume we will work out a schedule for meds and then I should be on the road to donating again! I can't wait to get to that stop on my journey because that means "D" will be that much closer to having her dreams as well. So today the news was ALL GOOD!