Houston: We have a date (for our crazy check that is!)

Well we have a date pinned down to do our psych evaluations. Yes world, when you are doing a gestational surrogacy, you are required to undergo a psychological evaluation or "psych eval" as I like to call it. They want to make sure we as the intended parents are not "Coo Coo for cocoa puffs" and "J" and her sweetie pie husband "E" are not either.. "J" has to take a test called the MMPI (no idea what that stands for) and I heard it's no biggie from some and OMG, it was weird from others. I also heard its like 500 questions and takes a few hours (sucks for her, I know). We are required to meet with Dr. Lady as a couple (dh & I) I believe separately and then with "J" and "E". They too are meeting separately and together.. So lots of talking. We are doing this on March 19th! That will be ALMOST the final step in us moving forward! Our contracts are in progress as "we speak" and then lastly, J&E have to have their std testing done over because it just expired THIS WEEK, UGH! So we are not worried about that part... Once we get those final things done, we can do a fresh transfer or frozen transfer whenever we are ready! I also have a consult scheduled with a new RE for March 1st. My friend who I am either donating too OR doing the shared cycle with (what we hope happens) has her consult Feb.28th (NEXT MONDAY!!) we are both excited about that. We are going to push for a shared, because we truly feel it was "operator error" in this last cycle that caused the dismal turn out and not a "ME" problem.. BUT, since I am owning up to my own shortcomings, while we are doing all of this other stuff I am getting healthy. While "medically" I am just fine, I need to lose some weight big time. About 52 if I want to be the weight I was when I met my dh, but I am shooting for 44, wait for it... IN THE NEXT 45 DAYS! I know, that's a lb a day. I am figuring I will be cycling in the next 60 days and definitely on the stim shots in the next 45 so I have to start now and see where i am in 45 days.. According to several sites if I lose just 5-10% of my weight, it could help improve my success with IVF and I am willing to do it! So day one was today, I will keep tabs on my weight loss as well as all the other craziness we have going on, so stay tuned!

You have not because you ask not...

Have you ever heard that saying? It comes from the bible, James 4:2 and really says :Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. The bolded part is what I am living right now.. I have for some time been going back and forth over which lawyer would best be able to help me with our contracts and pre-birth parentage order or "PBO" in the surrogacy world. I started out with a list of recommendations and scratched names off for various reasons, such as cost, attitude or personality, time it took them to get back to me and their general knowledge of what we were asking. My list got really short really quick. It got even shorter once we decided we wanted a lawyer in GA, since that is where the baby(ies) will be born (once we get that BFP of course!). So after talking with a wonderful lawyer, she sent me her fee schedule and my heart sunk, there was no way we could afford her. So my 2nd choice was fine, but let's face it, they were 2nd choice.. This was last year when we talked and I left it with both of them that I would get back to them and let them know.. Well, after this dismal cycle and all the money we have spent, I just decided 'what the heck, what's the worst that can happen right?" Meaning, I decided to email my FIRST CHOICE and be honest with her, letting her know that we loved her and wanted to use her for both parts of this journey, but we just couldn't afford the PBO portion of her fees. I went on to explain that we were quoted prices more in line with our budget and yada yada... She emailed me that night saying "let's talk tomorrow and see what we can come up with" well folks, let me tell you: SHE MATCHED THE OTHER ATTORNEYS PRICE! So we are getting the lawyer we want at the price we can live with, can I get an AMEN!! Moral of the story? Don't be afraid to ask for a better deal, the worst you can get is a NO and the best?? Well, you can get a YES and get exactly what you wanted! That is all.. :)

The waiting game

Right now we are in a holding pattern... I may be doing a shared cycle with a friend so she can have her own IVF journey. If we get the green light she would receive half of my eggs and in exchange I will receive my ivf for basically free (I only cover monitoring, ICSI and AH (assisted hatching) if I chose those)and this would we hope give us more embryos in the event we needed more than one try. If the RE decides based on my last cycle I am not a good candidate (ya just never know with these Dr.'s) then I will just do a donation to her and I would be paid for it (I wish I could do it for free, but I am not in the position to do so with the expenses we have/had for our own IVF) and she would get all of the eggs from that cycle and then we would do our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) and pray for a positive blood pregnancy test (HCG Beta) about 10-14 days later.. Who am I kidding, starting 3 days after the transfer i would have my friend who is my surrogate peeing on pregnancy tests like a drug tester, I am too impatient to wait!! So that's what is going on right now my friends. I won't know which way we are going until the end of this month. The 28th to be exact.. So if you don't hear from me before then, it's because there is nothing to tell.. Now if something funny or crazy happens in the mean time, you all will be the first to know..

Fertilization Report

Of the FIVE eggs they managed to save, only 4 were mature and of that 3 fertilized normally, so that's what we have frozen.. The RE is now changing her entire story saying there were 8 follicles, but 3 were empty and this falls within the realm of normal, yada yada.. My answer was "YEAH RIGHT!" With an E2 over 2,000 there is no way she can convince me that all 11-13 follicles that were seen on ultrasound was a mistake on the techs fault and that they were measuring the same follicle over. That's when the yelling started.. I am extremely angry with the outcome and cannot believe the RE is now putting it off on ME (well my body, "perhaps this is the norm for you" BITCH PLEASE!) or that it's just normal.. How the hell is this considered normal???

Post Retrieval

This post won't be long, as I am sore and I am kinda upset. At the ultrasound prior to retrieval I was informed their were 11 mature follicles and 2 that were smaller but possible. When I was awakened from the anesthesia, I was informed that I started to ovulate before or during the retrieval and they were only able to get FIVE, yes you read that correctly, 5 eggs.. I burst into tears and cried for the rest of the afternoon. Now I am just angry. Tomorrow I will receive the fertilization report and we are praying that all 5 fertilize. The clinic has some explaining to do and we are NOT letting this issue drop until we are satisfied with either monetary reimbursement or a credit towards another cycle. I have done THREE IVF cycles and twice I have ovulated during the procedure.. You guessed it BOTH times were with this clinic.. So the problem is there... Wish I had a better update, but for now, that's what I have..