Back in the saddle

This blog is to document our journey through IVF (invitro fertilization) to build our family.  J (the husband) and I had a long talk a few years back, discussing whether or not we would try IVF again in order to have a child together. We suffered an incredible financial and emotional blow when our then surrogate scammed us and caused us to lose all the frozen embryos we had from our first IVF cycle. After this devastating blow, J didn't want to try again, and I understood. I wasn't dying to try again either.... At least that's what I thought. Turns out I WAS DYING TO TRY AGAIN! I just didn't know it at the time.. As the days, weeks and years went on, I felt empty and sad, but lived my life. 

I had no idea that secretly the desire was also creeping back into J's mind... A few months ago, we were lounging and enjoying each others company when he said "I think we should try again".. I was floored. I immediately said "OK!" We both paused and looked at each other, then said "wait.. are we really doing this?" We then came back to reality and realized YES WE ARE.. We have gone over our finances and set aside what we could, but that is a drop in the bucket compared to what we actually need... So I am doing an egg donation to help a wonderful couple achieve their dream, as well as to help fund our own dream... 

This blog is going to be my therapy. I want to document what I am going through and hope that I can inspire someone else to make their dream happen, no matter what. I can tell you this story won't always be pretty, but it will always be honest. So settle in folks, cause with IVF, you're ALWAYS in for a long ride!