Stressing Over Decisions... AGAIN..

Seems like I can't make a decision to save my life! I have been going back and forth on what clinic I want to use for our next IVF cycle. I am pretty sure I don't want to go back to my old clinic in NJ.. I LOVED my last RE there, but the coordinator? Not so much.. And unfortunately she is the main person I deal with. She stresses me out and that place has so much drama and disorganization I don't know how anything gets done. Plus the one old chick that draws my blood pretends she is hunting because her jab turn technique on my freakin vein is crude (I shuddered at that flashback)... The main thing is there is an element of distrust I feel with the support staff and nothing is ever their fault and you feel like a hostage since they are controlling your cycle.. I don't think I need that drama if this is my last shot. To put it in perspective a full cycle (including my traveling, surrofriend travel and her local monitoring) will run us about $15,000.00 for one cycle, not bad by any stretch of the imagination.. The next prospect is a clinic 3 hrs from us and their one cycle cost for us would be about $13,100.00. The bonus there is no long distance travel, hubby can play a bigger role (do my shots) and its a less time off from work for him with not having to fly across the country.. Final contender is 4hrs from us and costs $21,440 for two cycles (a fresh and a frozen). So it's a play on a shared risk program. If we have success the 1st cycle we get nothing back, but if we don't we get the FET and if we didn't have any embies to freeze we pay an additional $2,000 and do another fresh cycle (that's a very good deal) so I am trying to decide which is the best way for us to go financially as well as looking at each clinics success rate for my age group so we make the best choice possible for us.. So that's where I am at. I have talked to both of the FL clinics and one is kinda losing out due to them not doing assisted hatching (nurse said the RE doesn't believe in it and I DO so that's a huge deal to me) and their ICSI costs are out of this world at $1500 (normal range I have dealt with have been 750-1150 with some places doing AH & ICSI for 1500 total!) I feel like I could get the RE to say yes on AH but then I would wonder if he really did it (cause I'm suspicious of EVERYONE and I hate that) So my good people of the interwebz, we will be drawing straws, picking numbers and playing rock paper scissors to see what the hell we are gonna do.. OK, maybe not drawing straws because I can't reeeeally control that game like I can rock paper scissors, HA!

Til next time..