23 Days And Counting

Nothing much going on, just wanted to post something.. It's raining cats and dogs out today and I really want to take a nap! I had to drive in this crapola so that wasn't awesome.. Now I am back home and ready to snuggle up on the couch and watch something sappy.. Not sure what's on my DVR or Netflix, but hopefully something that can hold my attention or help me catch some Zzzzzzz's.. I am excited by how fast July is coming! I feel like we are gonna look up and the 22nd is gonna be here LIKE THAT! I think once The long weekend is over, things will start rolling along pretty nicely or at least I HOPE SO.. I have company coming in to town back to back starting July 25th! Cutting it pretty close, eh? At least that will help me keep my mind off of the 2ww! Come on already July 22nd! BTW, Javier Colon totally won The Voice and I am so happy! I voted for him every way that was allowed and made my sons vote too! It was so close and I would have been happy if Vicci Martinez won if he hadn't but I am really glad he did.. OK That is all. Probably won't update again until after the weekend unless something awesome happens so until then!

Not baby making related but...

The Voice is about to come on! Don't y'all just LOVE THIS SHOW!?!?!?! If you don't, well frankly it's cus you suck! OK I'm kidding but really at the very least it means your taste isn't as good as mine because, lemme tell ya folks this show is THE BOMB! LOVES me some The VOICE! You should turn it on in about 29 minutes when it comes on.. FOR REALS.. Oh and I won't even tell you who to vote for (JAVIER)... I am gonna be so sad when this show is over in a few days or a week or whenever! I genuinely like EVERYONE that is in the final 4!
 You can hear their performances from last week pretty much anywhere on the interwebz right now.. They were blowing up the iTunes chart last week and i am sure someone is counting endless cash from the sales of their cover singles! Hell, I even got Coldplay's original version of "Fix You" after hearing Javier's version, that's how awesome this show is.. Whoever thought this puppy up, I am truly jealous because I am sure they are having their new house built right now solely outta "HUNNERTS" right now.. TOTALLY..JEALOUS..

OK that is all, back to your real life.. Will update next with surrogacy stuff, carry on!

We're Baaack!

Got our schedule today. Estrace starts TOMORROW! Frozen Embryo Transfer of "MO" is July 22nd!! We are thrilled with this schedule! Everything is going according to plan for a change for us and we LOVE IT! Yes, more of this please and less of the "uh oh, what the hell just happened?" ummkay? Thanks! So yeah.. we are officially back on this rollercoaster as of tomorrow, can y'all believe it!? SO incredibly happy to be moving forward so quickly! Now we have to concentrate on positive thoughts that "MO" will survive the thaw that morning! Let my copious amounts of wine drinking begin!

Back in..RED??

Got the news that my friend's period showed up today, wooohoo! Already emailed the clinic and am anxiously awaiting a callback from the nurse on our new calendar! We are shooting for a July 22nd transfer but we might now get to transfer until July 29th but atleast we are moving in the right direction! We are BACK BABY! Stay tuned for new calendar news! Praying for our embryo little MO. Already thinking about the thaw and we don't even have a schedule, does it ever end?!

WTF Appointment Replay

Talked to the RE about an hour and a half ago... Call didn't take long because I'm smart like that,lol.. So let me break it down for y'all:

• Officially a chemical pregnancy (yeah, we knew that)
•  When it happens this early, it's more often than not due to the eggs not being genetically normal.. (so again we knew this, but wanted to hear it officially) NOW for what I didn't know: at my age (37) 60% of the eggs in any IVF cycle are probably abnormal... That's a tough pill to swallow folks!
• The chances at a successful thaw for "MO" (the last of the Mohicans, ie our ONE embryo) 90%
• Chances that we will have a successful pregnancy from "MO"? 30% (mostly because I'm old, but also because it took 6 days to grow to blast since on day 3 it was behind the freakin THREE we did transfer in growth!

 So with this next coming AF, we are clear to start again, my friend just has to call when it starts and that resets the calendar! We are hoping it's in the next week for sure! So that's all I have for now.. Once we have some action from ole AF I will have more to report and this dance starts again! Wish us some witchy AF vibes so we can get this show on the road!!

Fully Backed By The Choir

It's official.. Beta is 4.6... My WHAT THE FUCK?! Appointment is at 10AM tomorrow, or more nicely known as my consult.. At that time I will grill him with questions I already know the answer to (like it was more than likely a chromosome issue and nothing more, but i want to hear him say it..) I plan to ask:

• What is the thaw success rate of 6 day blasts?
• What are our chances with a 6 day blast?
• Did it actually take 6 days to grow to blast or did they just freeze it on the 6th day?

A wonderful follower asked me about PGD.. We opted NOT to do this for a few reasons and still choose not to if we had to do another cycle. I have donated a total of THREE times now.. All of these women have babies from my eggs, the most recent being TEN WEEKS pregnant! So we know my eggs worked almost 8 years ago obviously and we also know my currently 37 year old eggs DO WORK.. We believe we just chose the wrong embryos to transfer or basically, we got the short end of the stick this time.. Maybe this last embryo is our baby... Maybe not.. If not, we WILL be doing a fresh cycle and a fresh transfer, the one thing we have not done that all the others did.. So maybe that is the key, we just need to do a fresh to have success.. Who knows, but we are going to go in to this FET with open hearts and as much positivity as we can bring!

Anything else anyone can think of that I need to ask put it in the comments ASAP so I can be prepared for tomorrow mornings call! Thank you all again for the love and support and ROUND 2 is in a few weeks, so stay tuned! :) PLEASE KEEP THE IDEAS COMING, I get the call at 10AM, so I will be checking tonight and in the morning everyone! THANKS!

Beta Lady is Clearing Her Throat and Humming

HPT tonight was negative.. Or so light that you have to hold it up to the light
and turn it a certain way and squint to see the line...

Soooo, that's all she wrote for this cycle... We are going to do the beta tomorrow just for shits and giggles, but we are not anticipating any good news from it.. It's mainly so I can get the callback from the RE and tell them that we want to thaw the blast we have and transfer it with the next AF.. I just want to thank all the faithful followers for their nonstop support and positivity.. It has meant everything to me! Our journey is NOT OVER! Just delayed a bit :) Stay tuned, I am praying we get our baby dream with this next cycle!

Good News, Bad News

Beta is in and it's good news, bad news situation.. Beta is 17... VERY LOW number.. RE said there's a chance it's not going to continue on to be a viable pregnancy.. He also said he has seen several cases where betas started out this low and lower and went on to have successful deliveries.. So the instructions are to stay on meds at current dose and have repeat beta Wednesday.. If numbers double or more than double, then we can breathe a little easier.. If they are lower or not quite doubling, then my sad face will get sadder... I always want to be honest so good or bad I'm laying it out there.. We are NOT out the game yet, but we aren't in the clear either.. Please say some prayers for us! By the way, they had no answer to why we were/are getting darker hpts.. Could be a late implanter was the only answer floated.. My friend was still cramping today and had some tugging.. We are thoroughly confused!!

POAS Chronicles: 10dp3dFET

Sorry so late today! What a BUSY day I had!! Running errands, went out with friends to celebrate their baby journey and more errands after, whooooweee, I'm tired just thinking about it!! OK, so what everyone is checking in for.. Without further adieu I present 10d3dfet hpt:

The lines look the same as yesterday to me, but as long as they are still there and not lighter or GONE, I am ok with that!! Also, we have now added a metallic taste to my friends mouth as a symptom.. Poor girl.. I hope that doesn't last too long! OK, so since tomorrow is Father's Day, we are NOT POAS.. We are taking a break tomorrow and then having beta Monday, so I will update beta news when I know it (PLEASE PRAY IT'S A GOOD NUMBER!!) and if anything new happens, tomorrow I will post it! Later gators, enjoy the rest of your weekend!!



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POAS Chronicles: 9dp3dfet

OK folks! Here is tonight's hpt picture! Since it's Friday up in this mug, I did a lil sumpin sumpin special to the picture so you can see the full effect of those TWO GLORIOUS LINES!

 YOU CAN SEE THAT LINE OH SO GOOD RIIIGHT!?!?! OMG!!!

POAS Chronicles: 8dp3dFET

Nothing much new to tell, except the tests are getting darker!! Here is the one from tonight:

What do you think? I think it is my friend didn't think so, but I finally convinced her it was! :) So that's all for today, another picture tomorrow and another post! Til then!

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...

My hands are shaking as I type this.. I AM IN SHOCK But I got this as a text about a hour ago and a half ago!!
 Krystal, Andrea, Joann, Kevin, EVERYONE, OMG! We did it!!!!!!!!

OK I have to go have some wine or something before my head bursts open!!!!!

Confidence Faltering?

OK so I always want to be honest here and let my feelings out. Well today I am struggling.. I had to great women from a group I am in get negative betas.. I was SURE atleast ONE if not BOTH of them would get awesome news today, so I was definitely not prepared to hear "it was negative"... I am in complete shock and I have to ask myself, "What does that mean for me?"  I know everyone is different and everyone's protocol is different but damn! This really hit me hard! Don't get me wrong I have been on this path a loooooong time so if you have been reading for a while or read back, obviously in my journey I would have come across friends that have had negatives.. I don't know if it's because they transferred around the same time as we did or if their betas were today and only 6 days before mine, but couple that with my surrofriend's negative test and you have yourself a freaked out Tonya! We are still going to continue to test, because the bottom line is, if it's gonna be it will and if it ain't well...it ain't..

Say a little prayer tonight for my friends Francine and  Katie and while your at it, please say one for us as well! Will update tomorrow with new POAS results, either way! 

POAS Chronicles: 6dp3dFET

So as promised I am here with POAS results from this AM, 6 days past our 3 day Frozen Embryo Transfer. Test was negative as I expected it to be honestly.. I have always heard that frozen embies take a bit longer to implant (don't know how true that is, but hey it works for me right now) so we are going to test everyday until Sunday and then wait on beta Monday! As soon as I have positive hpt news to report, I will! :)

  Krystal: for your viewing pleasure.. (:

2nd Best.News.Ever.

Because the BEST NEWS EVER will be if we get a BFP!! But the second best news ever is the embryologist at my clinic just emailed me (Finally, UGH! I have been waiting on some type of update for DAYS NOW!) He re froze one "nice blast" on day 6!! The other stopped growing, so out of 5 2PN frosties, I only lost 1!! I am SO HAPPY TODAY!! I am hoping that means the day 3 embies we did transfer have an even better shot, since the 2 we didn't transfer were behind the other 3 in development on Wednesday! EEK!! OMG!!!! Come on 2 week wait, well now only 8 day wait, LOL!! But POAS is just around the corner so hopefully I have good news to report soon!! Until the Pee Stick Chronicles, enjoy your Sunday!

Introducing: The Three Amigos!

Affectionately dubbed this by my surrofriend (I hate calling her "our surrogate" because she is really more like a sister to me!) I wanted to post this Wednesday but as you can probably imagine if you have gone through IVF or surrogacy, we were pretty overwhelmed over here.. I have of course been consulting Dr. Google as well as looking at my embryos from my first FET (29 yo eggs!) and I must say to me, they kinda look JUST ALIKE! Which to me is a good thing! I mean the quality back then was pretty damn good and I KNOW deep down had the psycho done what she was contracted to do, we wouldn't be doing another FET via surrogacy right now, but I digress... So Here are the embies from our first FET I don't know why I only got a picture of 3 because we actually transferred 4!

and here are the ones from Wednesday:

What do you guys think??? Purdy damn close right?? We are praying and hoping and wishing and finger crossing that at LEAST one of them sticks around for the next 8 months or so!

Transfer Completed!

We are officially in the TWO WEEK WAIT!! We had THREE Grade A embryos transferred to my sweet friend! They were (2) 8cells and (1) 7cell! We are really excited! Our Beta is in 12 days on 6/20.. We are on team POAS so we will definitely be squinting and checking those HPT's shortly!! I can't believe after this long journey we have made it to transfer!! Thank you to everyone who is always commenting and emailing me with their support, it means the world to me... Stay tuned, this journey is JUST starting!!

Tomorrow: You're Only A Day Away!

Tomorrow at NOON, two of our embryos will be safe and sound in my amazing friend's uterus. We are unbelievably excited AND SUPER DUPER NERVOUS!! So many emotions going on right now.. Lots of nervousness, excitement but some sadness too.. Sad that I can't carry my own child and experience a pregnancy with my husband.. Also brings up sad feelings of our many bad surrogacy matches and of course our terrible frozen embryo transfer with the worst surrogate in the world.. I KNOW that this time will be different and that my friend wants this for us as much as we want it for ourselves and that makes all of this SO much easier.. BUT nevertheless the sadness is there, under the surface of the happiness.. We have so many hopes and dreams rolled up into this baby that we can't see yet or see it's face, but it's so VERY real to us.. We already love it and we pray that tomorrow is the day that starts towards the beginning of it's new life with us in 8.5 short months! So yes i am a little sad about the past, but I am VERY VERY HAPPY more than anything!! We can't wait for tomorrow! I think I will watch Annie tonight in the "FAB FIVE's" honor! (MY friend dubbed my 5 embryos the Fab Five, how cute right?!) OK will update tomorrow after I have details!

THE THAW!!!

All FIVE embryos survived the thawing process!! WOOHOOO! So happy with this news! Now they are being cultured in the lab for 2 more days and the best 2-3 (but probably 2) will be transferred on Wednesday some time.. I had a great talk with the embryologist, love him! They are doing assisted hatching as well. The reasoning behind doing day 3 is I don't want to risk losing all of our embryos trying to push for a blast transfer.. I asked the embryologist if he ever had a case where they checked them on day 3 and they looked good and decided to go to day 5 and there was nothing left, he got quiet and said "yes, that has happened and we are always surprised and don't know why it does happen" I said I don't want to be in that group, that's my fear! I thought it was his choice of day 3 or 5, but he said it was mine and if that's what I wanted we would do day 3, so that's what we are doing! So in TWO DAYS my embryos will be snuggled safe in my wonderful friends uterus!! Bring on the HPTS! OK until Wednesday folks!

LINING CHECK: CHECK!

Lining check was today! J's lining was 8.5mm TRIPLE LINED (YUP, That's good!)
We are 5 days out from transfer, so it will fluff up a bit more by Wednesday! I am about 95% sure that is transfer day!! I told the nurse today that is my preference, no need to go to day 5 if we don't have to, or just for "GP".. Umm, no thanks! So I am praying we have 2-3 definite overachievers on Wednesday and we can definitely go to transfer then.. Next up: THE THAW!!! Monday the "kids" come out of hibernation and hopefully kick start into growing and dividing! And for those of you who are wondering, we are TOTALLY POAS!! We have about a million (OK, more like 50!) and we plan on testing until BFP or beta day, whichever comes first! But that's jumping the gun a bit, we have to get to THE THAW!! (I like saying that, I say it like Jim Carey said "THE CLAAW" in Liar, Liar) Til Monday my peeps!